FALLING ACTION
so now the girl is halfway across the country forgetting that she can't find love in strip clubs but she can still find a whole lot of money hidden in men's pants. and she thinks to a mirror. "oh why did i ever leave??".. and regret is far too soft of a word for this situation and she never realizes that she never wanted to leave but the fear of loving one person for the rest of her life was just too strong to resist.. so a couple of quarters give her enough guts to call her love and she says, "i miss you i MISS you i don't know why i ever left!". and he replies, "love i've got a gun to my head and it's loaded with the overwhelming sad that i have been exploring since you went away" and not surprised she replies, "is that what you really want to do? die? well dear i'm a thousand miles away i can't stop you." and then there's a blast total silence she drops the phone and sinks down. the man she loved had died and now her hands were just scapegoats because to have loved and lost was just a bullshit metaphor.. it is better, she realizes, to not have even loved at all.

she cries and just like juliet, she find her own poison.. words. carelessly yet thoughtfully gathered in a notebook and she eats each page one by one until she dies inside. the funeral is tomorrow but she can't remember what home feels like.. home was always the smell of his cigarettes. . . .

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